Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize