Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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