He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
