So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
