I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
