i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
