We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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