im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
