Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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