Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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