it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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