I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
