I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
