SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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