Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the day after is always just damage control
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
