im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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