Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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