i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
