I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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