good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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