im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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