you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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