You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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