Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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