one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
a search helicopter?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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