After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
