you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
