he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
