Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
