I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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