yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
home. puking in laundry basket.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
