The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
