Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
