i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
