Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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