Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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