Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
