So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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