Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
