I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
