Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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