My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
BRING THE BAGELS
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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