Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
