I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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