North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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