now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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