Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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