He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
