I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
