but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
