I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
