I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize