Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
