Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
