We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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