Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
