You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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